Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a #WeekendCoffeeShare post yesterday, but was dealing with neck and shoulder pain and was quite tired, so I lay in bed by 9:30PM. I originally intended this to be a quick lie-down and planned to write my post after my music pillow had auto-disconnected after thirty minutes. Well, before those thirty minutes were up, I set the pillow to keep playing until I either manually turned it off or its battery was empty. Guess what? I know for a fact that the latter happened sometime during the night, because the pillow was no longer connected when I woke up at 8:30AM, but I swear I didn’t hear its pretty loud sound indicating it needs charging. I slept like a log!
Anyway, all this to say I’m doing my coffee share on Sunday evening. I’ve just had my last cup of coffee for the day, but I can serve you some soda or tea. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.
If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. We’ve had some rain, some sunshine and some clouds. Today, the daytime temp was 19°C. We’re supposed to get almost summerlike temps of 23-24°C this coming week.
If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I’ve been crafting again. I made several polymer clay frogs for staff members who are recovering from surgery. The frog (Dutch: “kikker”) is sometimes used as a symbol for cheering someone up (“opkikker”). The first one took me over an hour to finish, but the second one was so much easier once I’d figured out how I wanted it. Here’s the second one.
If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I have a new assigned staff. One of my two assigned staff is on long-term leave for familial reasons and the other is a student. I had been a bit angry at the student for various reasons, among which her way of communicating the temp worker situation with me. The new one will be my assigned staff together with the student. I can get along with her pretty well.
If we were having coffee, finally I’d make use of the fact that I write my coffee share on Sunday to share that my spouse and I had an important discussion today after our outing to have lunch and shop. We have made up our minds that we’re getting divorced. We will continue to be best friends, but since there’s no sexual or romantic component to our relationship and we’re not living together nor intending on ever doing so again, it makes sense that we officially divorce. We have been having this on our minds for several months already, so the discussion, though hard, wasn’t altogether a surprise to me. We mostly need to work out how much my spouse owes me for my contribution to our mortgage, so that the house can be completely my best friend’s and no longer mine. I guess I will from now on refer to my spouse as my best friend to ease the transition for me.
It may seem like I’m not affected emotionally by this decision, but I am. I mean, I’ve mentioned a few times that my spouse and I will always be soulmates, but the fact is nothing is for certain. When we got married after all, it was to affirm our everlasting love to one another. Though our feelings for each other haven’t changed all that much since we first met in 2007, there’s this voice in me telling me this is the beginning of the end. I tell myself this is attachment anxiety talking. Whether it is or this fear is real, doesn’t really matter in the present moment though, as right now we’re still soulmates.
A Multitude of Musings 
Good to know that mostly things are going okay for you. Sorry about the divorce decision, though good that you both will remain best friends. Your little polymer frog is really cute! It has a friendly little smile! 🙂
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Thanks so much for your kind words and for the compliment on my polymer clay frog.
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As long as the two are both ok with officially ending the marriage it should be ended smoothly and I hope it does. I’m curious how long does it take to get a divorce there
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I have no idea, honestly. Thankfully, since both of us want the divorce, it takes just one lawyer, who will write a letter to the judge asking to approve our divorce. We’ll probably get everything we agree on (like how much my spouse owes me), on paper and bring that to the lawyer. There are certain defaults that we want to differ on, such as how much my spouse owes me because we together own a house (default would be half the current value, but that makes no sense since I don’t live there and my spouse contributed far more to it both financially and otherwise).
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Sorry about the divorce decision. It’s good that you both want to continue to be best friends. Thank you for your weekend coffee share.
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Thanks for your kind words!
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Even though “it makes sense”, ending a relationship you thought was forever, is going to be emotionally tough. It’s good that the process will be smooth though.
On a positive note, the frog is cute and the name of frog in Dutch does sound like the sound a frog makes, doesn’t it?
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Thanks for your kind words. I try to think of it as not really ending a relationship, since we’ll continue to be important in each other’s lives as friends. Like I said, our feelings for each other haven’t really changed all that much, but rather we’ve been more open about them, no longer pretending we’re what the world expects us to be.
Thanks also for the compliment on my frog. I never thought of the word being like the sound.
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Sorry you’ve had neck and shoulder pain, but glad you slept well! I’m sorry you and your spouse are divorcing, that will be hard, but I think your doing the right thing, since you no longer live together, and will never do so again. X
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Thank you for your kind words, carol anne! On the living together thing, I now realize that, even though living together isn’t required for marriage in the Netherlands, after we divorce at least no-one will be able to use my then no longer spouse against me to kick me out of care. That’s after all what the mental hospital did back in 2017.
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It sounds like you really needed that sleep, I hope your neck and shoulder are feeling better now.
We are forecast the same weather for this coming week which I am looking forward to.
Aww! The frog looks great and what a thoughtful gift.
I am so sorry about you and your husband have decided to divorce. It is good that you will always be best friends though.
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Thanks for your kind words! Yes, I certainly needed the sleep and my neck and shoulder are better now, though not fully alright.
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I am sorry about the divorce, but it did end amicably. I believe relationships and love, whether it’s platonic or romantic, can take on fluid qualities.
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Thank you and I agree.
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I’m sorry that you had to make this decision to divorce. But I think it’s wise to confront situations head on instead of avoiding them. Sending you love and prayers my friend
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Thanks a lot and I agree about not avoiding the issues that come up.
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Take care
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I am sorry to hear that you and your spouse are divorcing. Even if it is amicable there is always pain in a split. I hope you continue to maintain that friendship you share. My ex was a friend until his drinking finally ended his life just four years after we divorced. I do still miss him.
I love your clay frog or kikker. It is adorable! My daughter has a small frog collection and it is always something I am on the lookout for.
Thanks for the coffee! Hope you find lots of good things in your week!
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Thanks so much for your kind words! I’m glad you and your ex remained friends even after your divorce. Thanks also for the compliment on my frog.
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