Hi everyone. This week, one of Mama Kat’s writing prompts is to listen to the sounds in your house for five or ten minutes and let them inspire a blog post. I honestly don’t need to do this right now – I have my AirPods in my ears and their noise canceling is pretty good. Instead, since most sounds here are the same most days, I’ll write about the sounds I usually hear.
There’s this fan in my room. I have no idea what it does, but when they test the smoke alarm or when the smoke alarm goes off for another reason, it makes a deafening noise. Even when the smoke alarm doesn’t go off, the noise is a constant hum. When I came to look around here to see if I might want to live here, I thought I’d get used to it and, indeed, this is the least annoying of the daily noises, because it’s constant and monotonous.
Today, like most days, the resident who has his room next to mine was screaming and kicking his door non-stop for most of the day too. This is an intensely triggering sound, even though when the resident is this irritable he usually gets locked into his room. In fact, it triggers me, not just because I’m scared of his aggression, but also because I feel pity for him being locked into his room.
Then when I’m really lucky (not!), the resident two doors away from him has an outburst too and is being locked into her room as well. I am lucky (although truthfully I shouldn’t have to say that) that the threat of locking me up has only been used once. And I am really thankful the behavior specialist hasn’t approved locking me up or that threat might’ve been followed through on.
Then, if my window is open, or sometimes even when it’s not, I can usually hear the music the resident two doors from me on the other side listens to. He has been listening to St. Nicholas music lately, even though that celebration isn’t until December 5.
Then there are the various hallway noises. Sometimes I can hear another resident laughing or grumbling. At other times, I hear the staff fooling around. I can also hear one resident’s pet parakeet if it’s really quiet otherwise. That is a sound I cherish.
As you can tell, I mostly don’t like the sounds I hear here. Then again, I don’t like most of the things about the intensive support care home (my current care home). I hope at least some things will be better once I move to my new home this coming Monday.
A Multitude of Musings 
These are really quite intense sounds to live with 24/7, especially all combined. I guess even a non-autistic person could feel easily overwhelmed, or mildly annoyed at best.
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I’m not so sure. I guess it depends on whether you need to live here 24/7 or are working here indeed. I mean, some staff have been commenting how peaceful it is when the resident next door is quiet for a minute and then I respond with: “Peaceful? He just isn’t acting out right this second but he was a minute ago.” It also could be you and I both underestimate the filtering abilities of (some) neurotypical people.
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That seems awful that residents are locked in their rooms. As you know my daughter works in a care home for people with mental health issues but no one is ever locked in their rooms. It seems so cruel.
I don’t think I would like all of the noises that you hear. Good luck with the move, I hope things are better in your new home. x
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Thank you so much. Yes, when I resided in the psych hospital, no-one was locked in their room either. Rather, when we had to be locked up for our own or others’ safety (or when we were a pain in the staff’s necks), it was in specially-designed seclusion rooms. I’m not 100% sure which I’d prefer, since seclusion rooms are rather, well, bare. However, the way the staff here treat the residents is very reminiscent of my days in the psych hospital in 2008, when I was literally told I’d be secluded if (when!) I needed more care than the staff could offer. I had hoped things had improved since and indeed, for some, things have. Like, I have my extra one-on-one care now and, in my current home, the staff/client ratio is 3:8 (not counting my one-on-one shift, who helps out with the others part of the day too, when it was 3:16 at the locked unit I resided at in 2008.
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I give you much credit, Astrid. I certainly do not understand all you deal with but, each time you share a post, I always sense a glimmer of hope that things will improve for you.
Stay safe!
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Thank you so much. I really hope things will improve when I settle in here indeed.
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This old post was sitting in my email inbox, so I thought I’d respond to it. The sounds you describe are so triggering, very intense, also. I’m glad you are not at that particular care home any longer. X
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Thanks so much for commenting. I’m also glad I’m no longer there.
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