Hi everyone on this first Monday of August. How are you all? Let me share about my weekend. I’m also sneaking in a bit about today, because I don’t think I can devote a separate blog post to the topic and it needs talking about anyway. I am joining in with Hello Monday.
Saturday started out pretty good. My assigned staff came to do my one-on-one for the morning. My schedule did get somewhat distorted because she came up with the idea of us clearing out my wardrobe. I didn’t mind at first, but I didn’t realize until it was too late how overloading this was.
Then eventually, after having had a shower, getting dressed and having had breakfast, I realized I’d forgotten the steroid cream I’d been prescribed for my eczema. I asked my assigned staff to help me apply it. “I’ll show you how, then you can do it yourself,” she said. Fair enough, you might say, but by this time I was well and truly overloaded. I sighed, to which my assigned staff made a comment about me being a “big girl” and that I could stomp my feet all I wanted (I didn’t). Once she got down to showing me how to apply the cream, she kind of curtly told me to relax my hand (which, well, having mild cerebral palsy, I simply can’t), then asked why I can’t. I got quite thick layers of cream on some parts of my skin and nothing on others, but in the end it didn’t matter, as the cream she’d grabbed was the oily lanette cream rather than the steroid. I do understand my staff meant well, in the sense that she’s trying to encourage independence. However, I often don’t realize how overwhelmed I am until it’s too late and at that point, any further demands will lead to me shutting or melting down.
Saturday evening was pretty good. We had home-cooked macaroni for dinner, which I loved! I actually was allowed a second helping.
On Sunday morning, my one-on-one arrived 25 minutes late, claiming it was only 15 minutes and that it just was what it was and deal with it. Then at lunchtime, she wouldn’t leave my room after I’d finished my drink (I wasn’t eating because I’d be having lunch out with my spouse), claiming she was making up for the time she’d been late in the morning. Well, it isn’t just sitting in my room that helps me. If she could’ve taken that time to help me with an activity that needed doing rather than just “chilling”, that would’ve been appreciated, but she couldn’t.
Thankfully, my spouse arrived around 1PM. We drove to Apeldoorn once again and, after a stroll around the city, decided to have lunch at Backwerk once again. I had the same old chicken barbecue baguette. Hema was closed, so we just had a drive around, then stopped by Aldi in the town next to where my institution is (I’m pretty sure those who live in the Netherlands know which town I’m referring to, if I haven’t shared it already). I wanted to get some nuts and Tuc (a kind of salty biscuit), which my dietitian allows me to snack on later in the evening. My spouse also got apricots, so I also bought those. And of course the perpetual Kinder Bueno. Then my spouse drove me back to the institution.
Once there, it turned out one of the staff had car trouble, so didn’t arrive till 4:30PM. Of course, it was my one-on-one that got cut. One of the other staff made it sound as though they were buying us French fries and a snack to make up for it, which I considered rather lame. Then after we’d finished our fries at 4:50, the staff informed me bluntly that my day schedule would be followed from there on, so I would have one-on-one again at 6PM. I felt this was ridiculous, but had no choice, as the staff were using stupid emotional reasoning to get me to agree with them.
In the evening, I did show my one-on-one how to make beads out of polymer clay.
Now on to my cheating by sharing a bit about today: this morning, my support coordinator informed me that he was going to attend the team meeting for my new care home to answer some questions about me, but that he thought I could answer those questions perfectly well myself. I agreed and went with him. Some of the questions made me feel a little uncomfortable.
The first question I got, in fact, referred to my drinking excessive water. That happened exactly once and was an impulsive act. I decided to broaden the topic and explain about my preference for how staff deal with my impulsive or self-harm tendencies, ie. by not giving more attention than needed to the behavior but to stay supportive of my emotional needs. I did forget to mention that wounds do need to be checked, something that doesn’t always happen here.
Overall, I mostly felt validated, in the sense that at least the team didn’t respond negatively to my comments. I did find it hard to walk the fine line between being too bluntly honest about my needs and delivering a sales pitch of myself. I hope I did okay though.
A Multitude of Musings 
Hi Astrid and hello Monday
[though it is Tuesday by the time I am writing this],
Wardrobe cleaning is serious business!
[all the decisions and the clutter].
The chicken barbecue baguette is delicious
[any other butters or sauces in there?].
Argh! car trouble!
I tend to drink a lot of water early in the month.
Good that they were able to listen to what you said assertively about your self-harm and impulsive habits.
Wounds do need to be checked.
I remember something with Sorbelene-style cream one day.
15 minutes and 25 minutes are different.
And speaking of time, 6pm is hardly *day*time…
[yes, even in the northern summer].
Hooray for homecooked macaroni.
The Apeldoorn ritual with J is nice!
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Thanks so much for your kind words. And it’s so cool you notice the ritual my spouse and I have too. We tend to have the same rituals for a long while then discontinue them for some reason and find another ritual to follow. Our current one is Apeldoorn, so much so that I just had to create a tag for it on my blog (which I’m going to add some older posts to too).
As for the time thing, my staff claim my day schedule is based around rough times not exact times and they never fail to shove this down my throat when they’re late. I mean, today a staff told me: “Since when is your schedule time-based?”, when he was 25 minutes late for my lunch. However, that same staff a while back told me tolook at my watch to notice it was 8 minutes past the time his shift was over (due to another client being in crisis, not me), when I got frustrated because my support moment had been missed.
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And thank you, Astrid, for recognising my kindness.
The Apeldoorn tag is so cool.
I hope it gets filled up with many new and interesting things.
I would mention schedules that they keep to which are time-based and activity-based and which depend on aspects of both – to keep them in check/on side.
[and the consequences – like threat and danger].
So they mind more when it takes over the *end* of the shift…
[And, yes – crisis – that tends to overshoot all things – and support moments being missed less would mean fewer moments and minutes of crisis].
Rituals are for comfort and relaxation – and in trusting relationships.
[where did I read the first point – somewhere in a travel article about Japan’s torii or a wellness place in Bali – where someone is trying to knock her coffee consumption on the head].
[And “Spouse” is a pretty big tag already on your blog].
Just moozied on under to the Tag section.
Twenty-five minutes late for lunch …
Well, my lunches are rather floating. I do try to come when I am called or as soon as I register that I have been called [assuming that there has been no other cue in the first place].
They are often connected with a radio programme and it runs into the next one which is different each day. Sometimes into the previous radio programme
Back to tags – important people; places; things; blog link-ups and issues.
And activities, as you said, like soap making and polymer clay and exercise and reading [secular and religious books].
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Oh dear, that is a shame that your staff don’t realise how overwhelmed you are until it’s too late. It sounds very frustrating. Your one on one staff sound rather useless too. Ugh!
It sounds like the meeting went well for you new care home. It must be hard trying not to be too blunt and doing a sales pitch for yourself at the same time. It sounds like you did great!.
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Thank you. Honestly, while I think I did pretty well, I should have emphasized the activities I really love doing more, since I now remember my support coordinator went extensively into card and dice games, which I kind of like but don’t love nearly as much as polymer clay or soap making. I can’t shake the feeling that the reason is that they want me to cut back on the length of my activity moments, which last 60 minutes (enough for a very basic polymer clay or s oap making project) currently.
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It’s frustrating when people aren’t on time as it totally puts you off your day, but to then sit there just to ‘make up the time’. Sometimes a little TLC doesn’t go amiss!
Seems like a good meeting all in, hopefully all will be well in the new care home. Hope you are having a better day! Sim x #MMBC
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Thank you. I hope things will go as well as possible.
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I hope all goes well for you in your new care home Astrid. I was so glad to hear about you and your spouse but your one on one care sounds awful.
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Thank you so much. I hope the new care home will be a better experience than this one indeed.
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