This week, one of the prompts over at Mama’s Losin’ It is to share advice you’d give today’s high school students. I cringed a lot at Mama Kat’s own post, as it was based on the idea that all high schoolers have parents who have their best interest in mind. I mean, I lied regularly as a teen. Though I wouldn’t advocate for that, it was all I could, because honesty led to harsh punishment.
I am not sure how much of my experiences was shaped by my neurotype, ie. being autistic. I mean, the main reasons I was ridiculed and punished harshly were because I was “weird”. However, there are lots of high schoolers who for whatever reason cannot follow Mama Kat’s advice, either because of their own situation or because of their parents.
For this reason, the main piece of advice I would give any high schooler is that it’s okay to be themselves no matter what. Whether your parents accept you, is something about them, not you. Do stand up for yourself if they are abusive or hurtful. You may be a minor, but that doesn’t mean your parents are all-powerful and all-knowing (especially that).
Also, seek out adult role models other than your parents. I felt helped a lot by being in contact with disabled adults. Even for neurotypical, non-disabled teens, it is useful to have people that inspire them other than their own parents.
Use social media, but of course use it wisely. There are spaces on social media for people just like you. Of course, I know most parents supervise their teens’ social media use and I think there is some good reason for that. Mine thankfully didn’t, but then again I was pretty careful not to engage in unsafe behavior online.
I do agree with Mama Kat that honesty is part of a good family dynamic. It has to come both ways though. As teens, it will help you to not give your parents reasons to snoop on your private life by being open about it. If your parents aren’t safe, seek out another adult to talk to.
What advice would you give current high school students?
A Multitude of Musings 
That’s good advise! We always tell them seek out career counseling too, don’t trust your future to a teenager.
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Agree with that. We had minimal “future planning” in high school and it didn’t help me. I’d have loved more extensive career counseling.
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I agree.
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I liked the suggestion about seeking other role models outside of parents. That can be very helpful simply because it offers an outside perspective.
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Agree. I found that having contact with other adults, in my case especially blind adults, helped me a lot.
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Having grown up in an abusive home, the ability for me to reach out to another role model for support was crucial. Sometimes, parents fail and no young person should become a victim of a dysfunctional family unit.
Great post, Astrid, thanks for sharing your insight.
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Thanks so much for commenting. I wholeheartedly agree. Sorry you had to endure family dysfunction and abuse.
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Thank you, Astrid.
I’m sorry for anyone who experiences family turmoil but, when any one of us are able to get through it, we can proudly go through life as Survivors! Not an easy badge to wear but definitely well-earned!
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Agree. I’m also proud of myself for still being here in spite of what I endured.
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I really love this, Astrid.
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This is a really interesting perspective. Having not grown up in a family where I ever felt unsafe or unsupported, it never really crossed my mind that being honest could be dangerous. You are so right, there can definitely be good reasons to seek out support from other adults or mentors. However, if my kids were looking for support from other adults I would take it personally as I feel like I’m doing everything I can to raise them in a loving and nurturing home. So it hurts my feelings when they lie to me.
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That makes total sense. It hurt my parents’ feelings too. Thanks for offering your perspective.
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