Hi everyone. I’m joining Marsha’s 10 on the 10th linky once again. It’s been forever. Today, we’re sharing things we hate to love. You know, those things you secretly love but feel a little (or a lot of) embarrassment about loving. In no particular order, here are mine. I realize that many of these are not considered generally bad, but I’m choosing to write about things that I have cognitive dissonance about loving.
1. Tarot and astrology and the like. These are not necessarily weird per se, but I sometimes feel weird about loving them because I’m non-religious and grew up with atheist, strongly science-minded parents.
2. The Enneagram. Same as above, but with an added layer of it having pretty much been claimed by Christians. I’m not a Christian and one of the reasons for that is the fact that most mainstream Christians are openly queerphobic. I could, of course, call myself a progressive Christian, but then I’d not be playing by the rules of that religion, as indeed the Bible condemns homosexuality. I still read some Christian-based works and wonder whether that should be its own bullet point on this list. Anyway, I know that the Enneagram is not science-based at all, but I love it nonetheless.
3. Articles, blogs etc. about parenting and children. I don’t love these as much as I used to when I was in my late twenties, but I still find myself drawn to them. For someone who is happily childfree, this is a bit weird.
4. Scrolling online. I do it a lot and always feel bad about how it means my time has been wasted.
5. Gossiping. I don’t share as much info as I gather information that isn’t mine to gather. I honestly wouldn’t even call this something I love, but it’s something I do a lot and it’s quite distressing.
6. Online shopping. I love it, but it’s a pain to get things delivered here.
7. Lying in bed during the day. Again, something I do almost daily but feel bad about because it means I’ve wasted my days.
8. Junk food. I could write an entire list of things I hate to love that are food-related: candy, French fries, large cookies (particularly stroopwafels), etc. Rather, I’m grouping them into one item. As regular readers of my blog know, I used to struggle with disordered eating, particularly overeating and some purging. I’m so glad I no longer binge, but I snack way more than I should.
9. Nail-biting. And many other body-focused repetitive behaviors I won’t go into on my blog.
10. So many things that are generally thought of as more suitable for (young) children. Think stuffed animals, chapter books, kids’ bedtime story podcasts, etc. I could say it’s my alters (I have symptoms of dissociative identity disorder), but I’m not so sure that’s true.
A Multitude of Musings 