Hi everyone. Yesterday, Sadje asked in her Sunday Poser what regrets we have about not doing, being or having something in our life.
I could share that I regret not having finished college or not having lived independently longer, but I don’t. I mean, I know my “choice” to land in the psych ward caused me to be practically abandoned by my family of origin, but I wouldn’t have my spouse now if I hadn’t gotten myself admitted. In fact, I might not have been here to write about regrets, as I was actively suicidal at the time. You could argue that I wouldn’t have died anyway. Even if death weren’t the result of my continuing to muddle through, I would have more than likely caused irreversible damage to the relationships that matter. I honestly, after all, can’t believe my parents wouldn’t have abandoned me if I’d spiraled more seriously out of control. And I’m pretty sure, like I said, that my now spouse, whom I’d just met, wouldn’t have stuck by me then either.
This doesn’t mean there isn’t a voice in me that wishes I’d done some things differently. However, as long as I live, there’s always a moment to do things differently now. For instance, if I really wish I’d finished college, I could always enroll into an Open University program.
Likewise, I do sometimes wonder whether I could’ve been more independent if this or that about my life had been different. Then again, if I really want to be more independent, I can take steps, no matter how small, to achieve it. The proverbial deep end doesn’t work for me, since that was what I got when living independently and going to university. However, I can always take steps towards improving my life.
I, as many of you know, do regret having moved out of Raalte and into the intensive support home. That, now, I see as a lesson: I want to stay here at my current home, because even if it isn’t perfect, the grass isn’t greener anywhere else. Like one of my staff sometimes says, some places don’t even have grass.
I’m linking up with Senior Salon Pit Stop #338.
A Multitude of Musings 
Your right, some places don’t even have grass, and it is true, you can take steps towards independence, if that is what you’d like to do. X
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I meant the grass or no grass figuratively, but of course it’s literally true too. Thanks for your kind words.
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It sounds like you’ve been through an awful lot but to still be planning how to make the changes you want to is such a good thing. You should be extemely proud of yourself for how far you have come.
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Thanks so much for your kind words. I sometimes struggle to be content with how far I’ve come and to be proud of myself is a long way off.
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Hello Astrid, I’m sorry I’ve not stopped by for a while. Your post here resonated with me as it’s something I’ve thought a lot about recently too (especially as I’m getting old). I spent a whole year full of deep deep regrets when my husband walked out on me. I just couldn’t help thinking about how much time I’d invested in someone who never really loved me, how much I could have done over the years but never did. But, then I caught myself. the past is the past and we can’t change it, what we can do is make our futures happier and I’m sure we can both do that. Do that OU course if you wish (I did when my first husband stopped me from further education formally and I loved it.) Good luck, and I’ll try not to leave it so long next time x
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Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. Re the OU, I’m not really sure that’s what I want, since it may just be me trying to prove something to my parents (which I’ll never succeed at anyway). I am sorry your husband walked out on you and more sorry that he didn’t ever truly love you. I am so grateful my spouse and I are still together. Our relationship has changed a lot over the years, but we’re both quite certain we’ll always be soulmates.
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Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom Astrid. You’re so right that if we aren’t happy with our choices in life, there’s always time to do something about it.
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Thanks for stopping by. This is something I need to remind myself of often.
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I think we all do. We tend to enlarge our bad decisions and gloss over our good ones. It should be the reverse
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Absolutely true.
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I also have no regrets, yes there are things I wish I had done differently but all the mistakes in my life have helped make me into the person I am today. Regrets change nothing so really what is the point of them
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Absolutely true indeed! Fretting over your past mistakes doesn’t help unless you combine it with actions towards a better future.
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I think it is ok to regret some things as long as it is a mild regret you don’t dwell on day after day. If it is, then you need to take steps to try and satisfy that regret – like continuing education. Even if it is one class at a time it is a goal you can meet in the end. Hope you are having a good week!
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Thank you for your encouraging comment. I agree 100%.
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You’re welcome.
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WOW, thank you for sharing and participating at SSPS 338. See you at #339.
I can not imagine what you have gone through, but you are an amazing person and what you went through crafted you into an awesome and inspiring individual.
We need to learn from the past, make the best of it, learn and take it step by step and go forward.
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Thank you so much for commenting! I am glad my post inspired you.
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