Hi everyone. I haven’t blogged in over a week and it’s not for lack of wanting to, but for lack of feeling like I belong anywhere within the blogosphere. I have myself to blame, having tried to fit in simultaneously with the traditional lifestyle blogger crowd, most of who are Christian, and the more open-minded if not secular community that is mostly on WordPress. I have always had to sacrifice part of myself in order to belong with the lifestyle crowd. That’s, of course, the essence of the Christian faith and one big reason I now seriously proclaim I’m no longer pretending to be a Christian. I’m not. I am spiritual, but I choose my own path.
I mean, I could of course quote Bobby Schuller, who is big on belonging before you “behave”. However, at the end of the day, he too condemns everyone who doesn’t ultimately “behave”. And I never “behaved”. For one thing, my first crush was a girl. For another, I didn’t live with my spouse for the first six years of our marriage and not ever since 2019 either. For yet another, we don’t have kids and that’s 100% by choice. In short, I refuse to be bound by the rigid standards of sexual and gender roles that traditional “family values” impose on me. I honestly don’t care about being a “good” woman in God’s eyes. I’m done with sacrificing part of me just so I belong. Maybe along the way I’ll discover who I “myself” even am.
A Multitude of Musings 
I hope you end up feeling comfortable with your beliefs.
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Thank you. I hope so too. It’s important to me that I can be myself. That doesn’t mean I need to showcase my every inner thought online, but I do want to no longer have to lie about myself.
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I think most religions have many admirable qualities, but equally it is possible to share those qualities and not to have some divine being at the centre of it all.
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Agree, and all traditional religions at least have some aspects that make them exclussionary. And that’s exactly why, though I for one am spiritual (I know you’re not), I prefer not to subscribe to any organized religion.
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I am also spiritual like my dad was, I do believe in God and I do pray but I am not as serious about it as my husband is. My grandchild Sam says she like’s my take on religion I don’t judge and I am will to accept that we may not agree on stuff and that’s ok with me. My husband is in my opinion very judgemental and goes on about the Bible more then I like.
You need to just be you, like who you are and don’t try to change to fit in or make others happy it will only make you miserable. Just my thought.
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Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. I tried to be a Christian at one point which is really an oxymoron (trying to be a Christian), since according to Christian doctrine it’s God’s decision whether we get saved or not. Then I realized that, at the end of the day, if the God of the Bible exists, I’ll be condemned to eternal punishment anyway just for being who I am. And so will a lot of the people I love. That’s why I decided I no longer want to lie about who I am just to try to fit in. If the God of the Bible exists, He’ll know who I am anyway. This doesn’t mean shoving myself into the Internet’s face, of course.
I’m so sorry your husband is so judgmental. It sounds like at least from your perspective you agree to disagree anyway.
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I think you’re a good person and that counts
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Thank you. That means a lot to me.
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Always a pleasure my friend
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Being a Christian or trying to be one is more complicated than ever. I see too many people hiding behind the veneer of Christianity who don’t follow Jesus’s teachings. They are small-minded, judgmental, and cruel, more interested in pushing the antiquated beliefs of the Old testament than following Jesus and the New one. They judge people on the basis of color, ethnicity, and sexuality. They are not good people. Being kind, understanding, caring, and accepting is the mark of a true Christian. Judge not less you be judged. A few could use a lesson on that.
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Thanks so much for saying this. I’m glad you’re trying to build bridges between the Christian community and those who are typically seen as outcasts.
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I think the worst thing you can do is force yourself to fit in. You just need to be yourself. From what I have read from your blog you are a lovely person. You just be you. x
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Thanks so much, Kim.
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I think there are a great many bloggers out there who are independent souls. I think fewer Europeans are keen Christians than on the other side of the Atlantic. The universe is vast and how can any mere human claim to know The Truth. Yes you should be who you want to be; it’s the twenty first century and none of us should be told by our families or community groups how to live our lives.
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Aw thank you. I did grow up with pretty judgmental parents, though they aren’t religious, so I’m glad you bring up that aspect.
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I am… I suppose in simplest terms a believer, but not a follower. I have never found and organized religion that in my opinion wasn’t bias in some way or hateful to a certain group. I do however believe there is “something” with a greater power than us mere humans, what it is I don’t know, but I call it God or a higher power. It was hard to get to the point I felt comfortable saying that, but being honest about myself was important to me and it seems to be important to you. I am proud of you for facing who you are (it is not always easy) and I for one welcome the real you to the blogosphere!
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Thank you so very much for validating and accepting me! I can completely relate to what you say about being a believer but not a follower.
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You are most welcome.
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I love this post Astrid and I admire your honesty. Nobody should have to fit in. You carry on being the lovely you! 🙂 #MMBC
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Thanks so much! I’m glad the #MMBC crowd are generally accepting.
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