My mind is exploding with chaos. So many thoughts, feelings, wishes, voices, dreams and visions float through it. It is so overloaded I am tempted to give up. Through the chaos, I can hear the monster speak. “Give in,” it lures, “go to the clouds.” I can almost picture the heavenly realm, the place the monster is trying to get me to go to, in my mind’s eye. I cry out: “No!” I am bombarded yet I stand. I won’t give up. This is not the end.
This piece was written for yesterday’s Prosery. The idea of this challenge is to use a given line of poetry in a piece of prose. The line we were asked to use is: “I am bombarded yet I stand.”
In the above piece, I try to capture what it is like to be overloaded with depressive and suicidal thoughts. Yet, I also aim to make it clear that I am fighting back. After all, this is not the end.
A Multitude of Musings 
I think you did an amazing job at capturing the feeling you wanted to express. I too have those episodes, and you are not alone! Big Hugs!
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Thank you so much for empathizing! I’m so sorry you can relate though.
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You’re most welcome! It’s okay because this is how we heal, right? A day at a time makes it easier to handle.
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I completely agree. It’s also important to talk about these issues in order to destigmatize mental illness I think.
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I agree. Most people do not recognize mental health either, but why wouldn’t we? The brain is an organ too.
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This is powerful, strong, hopeful ~~ and honest.
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Thank you. Yes, I wanted it to show the raw truth of depression yet also my fighting spirit.
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Dramatic, searing, so well-written…
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Thanks so much!
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I am glad you’re fighting back! I can identify, because I face this kind of monster every month.
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Oh, I’m so sorry you feel this way every month. I’m assuming you have PMDD, which thankfully I don’t experience (as far as I know, I’m on depot birth control so no noticeable cycle). My depression does seem to come in waves though. November is a particularly hard month for me.
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Thank you. Yes, for me it’s PMDD, though I suffered from
SAD since about the age of 15.
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Oh, SAD sounds hard too. I suffer with recurrent major depression as well as emotion regulation difficulties (ie. borderline personality disorder), both of which can cause suicidal ideation. I really hope you’ve found a way to cope.
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I used to think I had BPD, but once I started tracking my cycle it was obvious the hormones were to blame. Whatever the cause, the effect can be devastating. Do be kind to yourself!
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Thank you. I will try to be kind to myself indeed.
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I think you captured both the overwhelming force and the fighting back very well. Good luck to you!
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Thank you so much.
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You’re very welcome!
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Tightly drawn. Well done.
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Thank you!
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That was good, the fight is worth it.
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Thank you so much for saying that.
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❤💖💜
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Wonderful Astrid! I loved your poem! It was really great! ❤
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Thank you so much.
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Astrid, you are not alone. You’re a warrior. ❤
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Thanks so much for saying that. I am glad in a way that I’m not alone, although I wouldn’t wish suicidal ideation upon anyone.
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Well done.
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