Good Enough

Posted on by Astrid

Today’s optional prompt word for #LifeThisWeek is “Good”. Denyse takes on a cynical approach to the word, which reminds me of the many degrees of being called “good” I experienced.

In my elementary school years, my parents were in a constant fight with the schools for the blind I attended about my educational needs and my potential. According to the school, I was a good enough student. That’s the literal translation of the words that appeared on my report card often. Sometimes, when I was better than average, just “Good” appeared.
My parents thought I ought to get some more recognition. They thought I was excellent, sublime, a genius.

My schools thought I should be going to their secondary school program, which at the highest level catered to average students. My parents believed I could do far better.

I doubt, to be very honest, that my teachers truly didn’t see that academically, I was above-average. At least some of my teachers must have seen this. However, socially and emotionally, I was significantly behind. This was probably the real reason my schools recommended I continue in special education. My parents disagreed. They felt that I would be overprotected and underestimated in special ed. They might’ve been right. We’ll never know, since my parents took me from educational psychologist to educational psychologist until they had the recommendation for mainstream high level secondary education in their hands.

What I do know, is that I ended up being overestimated and underprotected. My parents would love to deny this and blame the staff in independence training for essentially setting me up for long-term care. Agree to disagree. Then again, we’ll never know, because I didn’t go into independent living and on to university right out of high school.

Sometimes, I wish I was just the average, good enough student that some of my teachers saw me as. Then at least I wouldn’t have to face the enormous challenge of both a high IQ and an emotional level comparable in many ways to an 18-month-old child. Then, I might not be writing blog posts in English, but I also might not need 24-hour care.

Then again, I enjoy writing blog posts. I like my care facility. Life is good enough for me.

24 thoughts on “Good Enough”

  2. You’ve all had a lot to deal with during life. Hopefully things will be stable for quite a lot longer now
    Life should be good for everyone- sadly it isn’t
    Take care
    Cathy #lifethisweek

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  3. I have a good friend and exceptional writer that attended school in England. He was considered “slow” and an embarrassment to his family. His education was a mess. Eventually, a farm worker took him under his wing and recognized his potential.

    “…ended up being overestimated and under protected.” In my opinion you have developed an amazing ability to describe your life. I’m constantly impressed your insight and layers of expression you weave into your posts.

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  4. It sounds like your parents have been in denial for a long time. I would think that acknowledging and supporting a child’s strengths and weaknesses is likely to be more helpful than just pretending the weaknesses don’t exist.

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    1. Agree 100%. To their credit, my parents didn’t deny my emotional immaturity, but they said I was too much of a smartass to want to learn emotional skills. Then again, that’s blaming me rather than seeing the issues for just what they were.

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  5. That sounds like a tough journey through school for you. I often think that my intelligence was overestimated at school, to the point where I wouldn’t ask for help because teachers would think that I didn’t really need it. It’s interesting to hear about it from the opposite perspective.

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  7. Your childhood must have been stressful with your parents and schools always in disagreement about how to best serve you. I was happy to read your last paragraph and especially your final sentence. Life is good!

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  10. So much we can take from your experience and your life lessons Astrid. Too often, educators and those who care for others, want to be able to assign labels to children and it’s not helpful for quite a few.

    I am glad that you are back connecting on the blog and that life is good.

    Thank you for linking up your blog post to Life This Week #232. Lots of interesting comments from bloggers this time about “good”. Next week, the optional prompt is Heroic….that too might generate more conversation…and THAT is what I love about hosting a link up on my blog. See you there. Denyse.

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  11. Hi Astrid, what I take away from this post is that parents aren’t always right. But most of the time they have our best interests at heart and they honestly do what they believe is the right thing at the time. It’s only with hindsight that we know when they ‘failed’. And as a parent I know this from first hand experience. I hope that you’ve been able to accept your parents shortcomings (as I try hard to do) and try to make your life the best that you can. Have a lovely week ahead, and thanks for a though-provoking post.

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    1. Thank you so much for providing that insight. I definitely see how my parents thought they had my best interest in mind when they made the decisions they made. As a childfree person, I cannot pretend to understand what it’s like to raise children.

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