#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 11, 2020)

Posted on by Astrid

It’s Sunday and I’m in definite need of some coffee. For this reason, I’m joining in with #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s not time for my evening coffee yet, but maybe I can enjoy a virtual cuppa.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that the weather is gloomy. It’s been raining almost the entire day and it’s cold enough that I could use my winter coat.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’m struggling quite a bit. Yesterday I landed in crisis. I didn’t sleep all night and was still feeling very tense by this morning. A walk didn’t even help, because I felt cold and was very tired and overloaded.

I am also struggling with what to tell my husband. The crisis was quite bad and I really want to be open to my husband. However, I fear he’s going to be angry with me for it, because in other places, this could’ve led to me being kicked out. In fact, I’m still worried that the staff are going to decide to kick me out after all.

It makes me feel sad that I, being of above-average IQ, am expected to make my own decisions regarding this stuff and make sure my family is informed.

I mean, of course it has its pros that I’m intelligent. If I had an intellectual disability, I wouldn’t be able to blog, for instance. I also wouldn’t have my husband. However, this discrepancy between my IQ and my ability to cope emotionally, is weighing me down quite a bit.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that, as unlikely as it may seem now, the rest of the week was pretty good. I made some soap and experimented with baking soda modeling clay. I removed some of the figures from their molds today, but I think they hadn’t fully hardened, as they were still pretty brittle.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I’ve been loving browsing Amazon’s Kindle collection for books to get. I don’t want to buy them yet, but I did download a few free books.

I also finally got Listify on Apple Books. This is a book of journaling prompts (yes, again!) but most are list-based.

What have you been up to lately?

24 thoughts on “#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 11, 2020)”

  2. Many people who have trouble coping mentally have above average intelligence. It’s quite common, actually. I’m sorry you’re in crisis, but being mentally interesting and having a high intelligence are not mutually exclusive. One can be one without the other or they can go hand in hand. What I’m trying to say it that you need to deal with your emotional crisis and not worry about what that says about your intelligence because on has nothing to do with the other.

    Also, if we were having coffee together, I would ask why you can’t talk to your husband. I mean, I can’t imagine not being able to tell my husband anything. That is what marriage is for, to have someone to be there — “in sickness and in health” is how the vow was supposed to go. Right? I mean, I don’t know your religion, so maybe you didn’t have that vow. I dunno, but our marriage is through everything, good and bad. If we can’t have that, then why get married?

    I hope things get better for you. Take care.

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    1. Thanks so much for your supportive comments. For clarity’s sake, my husband supports me through everything. We don’t and most likely won’t ever again live together, because I live in a care facility. In my opinion, him supporting me through this shows that he’s there for me in sickness and in health. I do think my husband would want me to tell him, but I’m scared. I mean, I don’t rationally think he’s going to be angry with me, rather frustrated at not being able to help. Now I feel bad that I made my husband look bad in this post, when it’s really I myself keeping this info from him.

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  4. Hi Astrid, I’m sorry to hear you hit a rough patch but suspect that it was just a stray down point from the view of your health team. Everyone has off-days or hours. No one gets to honesty be their best everyday. I bet your husband knows this too but whether he can react to that knowledge rather than any annoyance it might have caused, I can only hope he does. Everything you’ve told us about him suggests that he is firmly on your side and knows better than to expect consistent perfection from anyone. A better week this week perhaps. . . ?

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    1. Thanks so much. Yes, you’re right, my husband is firmly on my side. I did have the staff call him this evening, with me sitting beside the staff. Though my husband was worried, he wasn’t angry at all.

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  7. It’s pretty rainy and cold here today. I had surgery just 2 weeks ago so I’m still pretty limited on how much physical activity I can get but I am pretty bummed not to be walking. That usually helps so much with my mental state. #MMBC

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